Women and Men jokes

A man's walking home late at night when he sees a woman in the shadows.
"Twenty bucks," she says.
He's never been with a hooker before, but he decides what the hell. They're going at it for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on

What is the difference between men and women?
A woman wants one man to

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same

Why do women close their eyes during sex?
They can’t

How to win the heart of a woman? Kiss her, love her, go to the end of the world

- You are so kind, funny and beautiful.
- Oh come on.

Man: Hi, do you want to dance?
- Woman: Yeah, sure!
Man:
-

A woman didn't come home one night.
The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house.
The man called his wife's 10 best friends.
None of them knew anything about it.
A man didn't come

Every man thinks he's a dream of every woman.
Sorry guys, but the dream

A man and a woman were having drinks at a business conference when they got into an argument about who enjoyed sex more. The man said, "Men obviously enjoy sex more than women. Why do you think we’re so

Ten Things Men Know For Sure About Women.
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A women’s lib speaker was addressing a large group and said, "Where would man be today if it were not for woman?"
She paused a moment and looked around the room.

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A

After drinking, Men talk unnecessarily, Become emotional,
Drive badly, Stop thinking,

Joe was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sick father died, he decided he needed a wife with whom to share his fortune.
One evening at an investment seminar he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever

Smart man + Smart Woman = Romance
Smart Man + Dumb Woman = Pregnancy

MAN:
1) Pull up to machine
2) Wind window down
3) Insert ATM card, enter PIN
4) Retrieve cash
5) Drive away
WOMAN:
1) Pull up to machine
2) Open door (too far away from machine)
3) Search through all of the 112 compartments in handbag for ATM card
4) Do make up, apply lipstick, fix

A guy steps into an elevator and there's just one attractive woman in it. He turns around to push the button for his floor and his elbow bumps right into her breast. He says, "Oh, I'm so sorry. If your