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Stories


Stories : 16 

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Story about dating


Dating ANGLO/SAXON WOMEN
First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.
Second date: You get to grope all over and make out a bit.
Third date: You get to have sex but only when she wants to and only in the missionary position.
ITALIAN WOMEN
First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.
Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti & meatballs.
Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you and insists on a 3-carat ring.
5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together & hate the thought of having sex.
6th Anniversary: You find yourself a Mistress.
IRISH WOMEN:
First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
CHINESE WOMEN
First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.
Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing happens again.
Third date: You don't even get to the third date and you realize nothing is ever going to happen.
MEXICAN WOMEN
First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on Tequila, and have sex in the back of her car.
Second Date: She's pregnant.
Third Date: She moves in. One week later, her mother, father, her two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her grandma, her sister's boyfriend and his three kids move in and you live on rice and beans for the rest of your life in your home that used to be nice, but now looks like a home along the Tijuana strip.
JEWISH WOMEN
First Date: You spend all your money to impress her.
Second Date: You take a loan to keep the image.
Third Date: You're broke, she finds someone wealthier.
ARAB WOMEN
First Date: Mother, Father, Brothers, Sisters, Cousins, Aunts, Uncles, Friends and entire Arab community finds out.
Second Date: You are shot dead in the street and your balls are fed to the goats.
No third date!
The POINT:
Don't you just LOVE the IRISH?


 Categories :   Dating





Story about police


A man in his mid forties bought a new BMW and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive.
The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to see what the engine had.
As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him.
"There's no way they can catch a BMW," he thought to himself and opened her up further.
The needle hit 90, then 100, and finally reality hit him and he knew he shouldn't run from the police, so he slowed down and pulled over.
The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car.
"It's been a long day, this is the end of my shift and it's Friday the 13th.
I don't feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go."
The guy thinks for a second and says, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop.
I was afraid you were trying to give her back."
"Have a nice weekend," said the officer and he walked away.


 Categories :   Police







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