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Welcome to Funnypedia,

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923 jokes in English

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 Categories :   Cynical Opinion


Do you remember when I asked you to give me your opinion? That's right, me neither.
  






 Categories :   Doctor


At the doctors office:
Doc: "Unfortunately sir, you have only 1 week to live..."
Man: "Doctor what on earth are you saying?", clearly chocked, "Tell me what can I do to live at least a little linger, please..."
Doc: "Do you eat fried food?"
Man: "Yes"
Doc: "You must stop!"
Man: "If it's so that I live more... ill do it"
Doc: "Do you eat fat food?"
Man: "Yes"
Doc: "You must stop!"
Man: "If it's so that I live more... ok doc"
Doc: "Do you stay up late?"
Man: "Yes"
Doc: "You must stop!"
Man: "If it's so that I live more... ok"
Doc: "Do you have sex often?"
Man: "Yes!
Doc: "You must stop!"
Man: "If it's so that I live more... I'll do that too"
Doc: "Do you smoke?"
Man: "Yes"
Doc: "You must stop!"
Man: "If it's so that I live more... I will"
Doc: "Do you drink?"
Man: "Yes..."
Doc: "You must stop!"
Man: "OK doctor, but you didn't tell me, if I do all the things you told me, how longer will I live?"
Doc: "You will still live for a week... but it will seem like a century..."
  







 Categories :   Work Laziness


Hard work pays off in the future. Lolling on the couch pays off right now.
  






 Categories :   Laziness Problem


It may seem like I'm doing nothing, but I'm actively waiting for my problems to disappear.
  







 Categories :   Cat


Funny picture  about cat
  






 Categories :   Casino


Funny picture  about casino
  
























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