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Quotes : 136 

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  Quotes by category

Quote about confession and reputation

Confessions may be great for your soul, but they are hell for your reputation.

 Categories :   Confession Reputation

Quote about injustice and resistance

When injustice becomes law, resistance becomes duty.

 Categories :   Injustice Resistance

Quote about work and laziness

Hard work pays off in the future. Lolling on the couch pays off right now.

 Categories :   Work Laziness

Quote about promise wordplay

Promises are like babies... They're fun to make but hard to deliver.

 Categories :   Promise Wordplay

Quote about computer

The leading source of computer problems is computer solutions.

 Categories :   Computer

Quote about stupidity

Everyone has the right to be stupid, but some abuse that privilege.

 Categories :   Stupidity

Quote about snoring

The snorers are always the ones to fall asleep first.

 Categories :   Snoring

Quote about laziness and problem

It may seem like I'm doing nothing, but I'm actively waiting for my problems to disappear.

 Categories :   Laziness Problem

Quote about baby and candy

If you're using the phrase "easy as taking candy from a baby", try taking candy from a baby.

 Categories :   Baby Candy

Quote about weekend

The first five days after the weekend are the toughest.

 Categories :   Weekend

Quote about laugh

He who laughs last is a bit of a slow thinker.

 Categories :   Laugh

Quote about grass and manure

You may think the grass is greener on the other side, but it's possibly because there's more manure there!

 Categories :   Grass Manure

Quote about television wordplay

Television is a medium - anything well done is rare.

 Categories :   Television Wordplay

Quote about stuff

I'm really good at stuff until somebody watches me do that stuff.

 Categories :   Stuff

Quote wordplay

You have to excuse me, I suffer from emotional constipation. I really can't give a shit.

 Categories :   Wordplay

Quote about turtle

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is it naked or homeless?

 Categories :   Turtle

Quote about finger short

My middle finger salutes you!

 Categories :   Finger Short

Quote about money

A bag of money can be a symbol not only of wealth, but also of tremendous inflation.

 Categories :   Money

Quote about phone

The only scenario where you really need a land line today is when you're trying to find your smartphone.

 Categories :   Phone

Quote about cat

You can train a cat to do anything the cat wants to do at the moment it wants to do it.

 Categories :   Cat

Quote about people

It is a fact of nature that light arrives faster than sound. Which is why some people can appear quite bright, until they speak.

 Categories :   People

Quote about interrupt

I'm very sorry to interrupt you, but you must have mistaken me for somebody who's interested.

 Categories :   Interrupt

Quote about refrigerator

It is what's inside that matters - the fridge is a perfect example.

 Categories :   Refrigerator

Quote about money and bank

They say money doesn't grow on trees, but why do banks have branches then?

 Categories :   Money Bank

Quote about laziness

I'm not lazy. I'm just highly motivated to do nothing.

 Categories :   Laziness

Quote about weather

There is no lousy weather, only lousy choice of clothing.

 Categories :   Weather

Quote about optimist

A true optimist is the guy who falls off a skyscraper and after 50 floors thinks to himself - well, so far so good!

 Categories :   Optimist

Quote about life and trust

A truth of life: Only ever trust your own butt to always stand behind you!

 Categories :   Life Trust

Quote about speech short

Too long speeches lead to no actions.

 Categories :   Speech Short

Quote about marriage and love

If love is blind, then marriage is its spectacles.

 Categories :   Marriage Love

Quote about stupidity

Stupidity knows no boundaries, but it knows a lot of people.

 Categories :   Stupidity

Quote about people black

A lot of people are only alive today because the law makes it impossible to shoot them.

 Categories :   People Black

Quote about driving

Never drive faster than a guardian angel can fly.

 Categories :   Driving

Quote about money

Yes, money cannot buy you happiness, but I'd still feel a lot more comfortable crying
in a new BMW than on a bike.

 Categories :   Money

Quote about people and cat

The more people I meet, the more I like my cat.

 Categories :   People Cat

Quote about doctor

Just because your doctor has a name for your condition doesn't mean he knows what it is.

 Categories :   Doctor

Quote about experience

Good judgment comes from experience, and experience ... well, that comes from poor judgment.

 Categories :   Experience

Quote wordplay

Everyday is a gift, that's why they call it the present.

 Categories :   Wordplay

Quote about drugs

I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.

 Categories :   Drugs

Quote about social

I'm not anti-social.
I'm just not user friendly.

 Categories :   Social

Quote cynical

I wish I could see things from your point of view, unfortunately I can't stick my head that far up my ass.

 Categories :   Cynical

Quote about russia

I'm really starting to hate these stupid little Russian Dolls. They're so full of themselves.

 Categories :   Russia

Quote about vagina short

Another name for a vagina is a cockpit

 Categories :   Vagina Short

Quote about men

Men are like guns.
Keep one around long enough and your going to want to shoot it.

 Categories :   Men

Quote about love

She was hungry for love and didn't know where her next male was coming from.

 Categories :   Love

Quote about blonde

She is so blonde, she studied for a blood test.

 Categories :   Blonde

Quote about erection vulgar

A dog's erection looks exactly like lipstick, but it sure doesn't taste like it.

 Categories :   Erection Vulgar

Quote about penis, women, men vulgar

A penis is like a mans life.....woman make it hard

 Categories :   Penis Women and Men Vulgar

Quote about drunk

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

 Categories :   Drunk

Quote about marriage

Marrying a man for his good looks is like buying a house for its paint.

 Categories :   Marriage

Quote about sex

Sex is like a motor racing - the most important thing is not to save money for best quality rubber.

 Categories :   Sex

Quote vulgar

My unit would like to explore your crater.

 Categories :   Vulgar

Quote vulgar

There's something actionable in your pants.

 Categories :   Vulgar

Quote wordplay

All is a shitting, except the pissing, but the pissing becomes a shitting if you piss against the wind.

 Categories :   Wordplay

Quote about women, men

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument

 Categories :   Women and Men

Quote about school

S.C.H.O.O.L. = Seven Crappy Hours Of Our Life

 Categories :   School

Quote about school

C.L.A.S.S. = Come Late And Start Sleeping

 Categories :   School

Quote about school and sleeping

If sleep is really good for the brain, then why is it not permitted in school?

 Categories :   School Sleeping

Quote about men

Men are like public toilets. They are either engaged or full of shit.

 Categories :   Men

Quote about sex

Sex is more exciting on the screen and between the pages than between the sheets.

 Categories :   Sex

Quote about children

Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

 Categories :   Children

Quote about wisdom

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

 Categories :   Wisdom

Quote about growing up

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

 Categories :   Growing up

Quote about war

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

 Categories :   War

Quote about men vulgar

Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

 Categories :   Men Vulgar

Quote about hurt

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

 Categories :   Hurt


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