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Quotes


Quotes : 136 

A-Z Index  
  Quotes by category




Quote about confession and reputation


Confessions may be great for your soul, but they are hell for your reputation.


 Categories :   Confession Reputation





Quote about injustice and resistance


When injustice becomes law, resistance becomes duty.


 Categories :   Injustice Resistance





Quote about work and laziness


Hard work pays off in the future. Lolling on the couch pays off right now.


 Categories :   Work Laziness





Quote about promise wordplay


Promises are like babies... They're fun to make but hard to deliver.


 Categories :   Promise Wordplay





Quote about computer


The leading source of computer problems is computer solutions.


 Categories :   Computer





Quote about stupidity


Everyone has the right to be stupid, but some abuse that privilege.


 Categories :   Stupidity





Quote about snoring


The snorers are always the ones to fall asleep first.


 Categories :   Snoring





Quote about laziness and problem


It may seem like I'm doing nothing, but I'm actively waiting for my problems to disappear.


 Categories :   Laziness Problem





Quote about baby and candy


If you're using the phrase "easy as taking candy from a baby", try taking candy from a baby.


 Categories :   Baby Candy





Quote about weekend


The first five days after the weekend are the toughest.


 Categories :   Weekend





Quote about laugh


He who laughs last is a bit of a slow thinker.


 Categories :   Laugh





Quote about grass and manure


You may think the grass is greener on the other side, but it's possibly because there's more manure there!


 Categories :   Grass Manure





Quote about television wordplay


Television is a medium - anything well done is rare.


 Categories :   Television Wordplay





Quote about stuff


I'm really good at stuff until somebody watches me do that stuff.


 Categories :   Stuff





Quote wordplay


You have to excuse me, I suffer from emotional constipation. I really can't give a shit.


 Categories :   Wordplay





Quote about turtle


If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is it naked or homeless?


 Categories :   Turtle





Quote about finger short


My middle finger salutes you!


 Categories :   Finger Short





Quote about money


A bag of money can be a symbol not only of wealth, but also of tremendous inflation.


 Categories :   Money





Quote about phone


The only scenario where you really need a land line today is when you're trying to find your smartphone.


 Categories :   Phone





Quote about cat


You can train a cat to do anything the cat wants to do at the moment it wants to do it.


 Categories :   Cat





Quote about people


It is a fact of nature that light arrives faster than sound. Which is why some people can appear quite bright, until they speak.


 Categories :   People





Quote about interrupt


I'm very sorry to interrupt you, but you must have mistaken me for somebody who's interested.


 Categories :   Interrupt





Quote about refrigerator


It is what's inside that matters - the fridge is a perfect example.


 Categories :   Refrigerator





Quote about money and bank


They say money doesn't grow on trees, but why do banks have branches then?


 Categories :   Money Bank





Quote about laziness


I'm not lazy. I'm just highly motivated to do nothing.


 Categories :   Laziness





Quote about weather


There is no lousy weather, only lousy choice of clothing.


 Categories :   Weather





Quote about optimist


A true optimist is the guy who falls off a skyscraper and after 50 floors thinks to himself - well, so far so good!


 Categories :   Optimist





Quote about life and trust


A truth of life: Only ever trust your own butt to always stand behind you!


 Categories :   Life Trust





Quote about speech short


Too long speeches lead to no actions.


 Categories :   Speech Short





Quote about marriage and love


If love is blind, then marriage is its spectacles.


 Categories :   Marriage Love





Quote about stupidity


Stupidity knows no boundaries, but it knows a lot of people.


 Categories :   Stupidity





Quote about people black


A lot of people are only alive today because the law makes it impossible to shoot them.


 Categories :   People Black





Quote about driving


Never drive faster than a guardian angel can fly.


 Categories :   Driving





Quote about money


Yes, money cannot buy you happiness, but I'd still feel a lot more comfortable crying
in a new BMW than on a bike.


 Categories :   Money





Quote about people and cat


The more people I meet, the more I like my cat.


 Categories :   People Cat





Quote about doctor


Just because your doctor has a name for your condition doesn't mean he knows what it is.


 Categories :   Doctor





Quote about experience


Good judgment comes from experience, and experience ... well, that comes from poor judgment.


 Categories :   Experience





Quote wordplay


Everyday is a gift, that's why they call it the present.


 Categories :   Wordplay





Quote about drugs


I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.


 Categories :   Drugs





Quote about social


I'm not anti-social.
I'm just not user friendly.


 Categories :   Social





Quote cynical


I wish I could see things from your point of view, unfortunately I can't stick my head that far up my ass.


 Categories :   Cynical





Quote about russia


I'm really starting to hate these stupid little Russian Dolls. They're so full of themselves.


 Categories :   Russia





Quote about vagina short


Another name for a vagina is a cockpit


 Categories :   Vagina Short





Quote about men


Men are like guns.
Keep one around long enough and your going to want to shoot it.


 Categories :   Men





Quote about love


She was hungry for love and didn't know where her next male was coming from.


 Categories :   Love





Quote about blonde


She is so blonde, she studied for a blood test.


 Categories :   Blonde





Quote about erection vulgar


A dog's erection looks exactly like lipstick, but it sure doesn't taste like it.


 Categories :   Erection Vulgar





Quote about penis, women, men vulgar


A penis is like a mans life.....woman make it hard


 Categories :   Penis Women and Men Vulgar





Quote about drunk


I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.


 Categories :   Drunk





Quote about marriage


Marrying a man for his good looks is like buying a house for its paint.


 Categories :   Marriage





Quote about sex


Sex is like a motor racing - the most important thing is not to save money for best quality rubber.


 Categories :   Sex





Quote vulgar


My unit would like to explore your crater.


 Categories :   Vulgar





Quote vulgar


There's something actionable in your pants.


 Categories :   Vulgar





Quote wordplay


All is a shitting, except the pissing, but the pissing becomes a shitting if you piss against the wind.


 Categories :   Wordplay





Quote about women, men


A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument


 Categories :   Women and Men





Quote about school


S.C.H.O.O.L. = Seven Crappy Hours Of Our Life


 Categories :   School





Quote about school


C.L.A.S.S. = Come Late And Start Sleeping


 Categories :   School





Quote about school and sleeping


If sleep is really good for the brain, then why is it not permitted in school?


 Categories :   School Sleeping





Quote about men


Men are like public toilets. They are either engaged or full of shit.


 Categories :   Men





Quote about sex


Sex is more exciting on the screen and between the pages than between the sheets.


 Categories :   Sex





Quote about children


Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.


 Categories :   Children





Quote about wisdom


Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.


 Categories :   Wisdom





Quote about growing up


We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.


 Categories :   Growing up





Quote about war


War does not determine who is right - only who is left.


 Categories :   War





Quote about men vulgar


Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.


 Categories :   Men Vulgar





Quote about hurt


The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.


 Categories :   Hurt







TOP CATEGORIES
Quotes

- Sex
- Love
- Marriage
- Short
- Vulgar
- Life
- Women and Men
- Money
- Wordplay
- Laziness
- Men
- People
- School
- Women
- Black
- Cat
- Death
- Doctor
- Driving
- Girls
- Insurance
- Laugh
- Stupidity
- Wife
- Work
- Actors
- Americans
- Arguments
- Baby
- Bank





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