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Jokes : 485 

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Joke about teacher

TEACHER: Well, at least there's one thing I can say about your son.
FATHER: What's that?
TEACHER: With grades like these, he couldn't be cheating.

 Categories :   Teacher

Joke about opinion cynical

Do you remember when I asked you to give me your opinion? That's right, me neither.

 Categories :   Opinion Cynical

Joke about yourself and unicorn

Always be yourself. Unless you can also be a unicorn. In that case, always be a unicorn.

 Categories :   Yourself Unicorn

Joke about bar and bra

What is the similarity between a bar and a bra ?
They both drive men crazy when they open.

 Categories :   Bar Bra

Joke about bra

I‘ve been trying to open the bra of my girlfriend for 20 minutes now...
I wish I had never put it on.

 Categories :   Bra

Joke about headache and children

If you have been struck by a headache, follow the instructions on the aspirin bottle:

 Categories :   Headache Children

Joke about dentists and question

Dental-Chair Revelation: Once you have your mouth open, dentists lose the ability to ask questions with a simple yes or no answer.

 Categories :   Dentists Question

Joke about little johnny and crocodile

One day, Little Johnny's grandmother sent him to the water hole to get some water for cooking dinner.
As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him.
He dropped the bucket and ran back to grandma's house as fast as he could.
"Where's my bucket and my water?" She asked.
"I can't get any water from that water hole, there's a mean ol' alligator down there!"
"Now don't you mind that ol' alligator, Johnny.
He's been there for years, and he's never hurt no one.
Why, he's probably as scared of you as you are of him!"
"Well, Grandma," replied Johnny, "if he's as scared of me as I am of him, then that water ain't fit to drink!"

 Categories :   Little Johnny Crocodile

Joke about bar and men

Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
A. They're married.

 Categories :   Bar Men

Joke about teacher, chemistry wordplay

Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher? There was no

 Categories :   Teacher Chemistry Wordplay

Joke about husband

I’ve received hundred of responses to my ad seeking a husband, and they all say the exact same thing:
"Take mine, please."

 Categories :   Husband

Joke about lesbian, vampire short

What does one lesbian vampire say to the other?
Same time next month?

 Categories :   Lesbian Vampire Short

Joke about god, men, dildo vulgar

Why did God even create men?
Because He couldn’t figure out how to make a vibrator that would mow the lawn.

 Categories :   God Men Dildo Vulgar

Joke about adam and eve

Why did God make Adam before Eve?
Everyone needs a rough draft before they make the final copy.

 Categories :   Adam Eve

Joke about hurt cynical

The last thing I want to do is to hurt you.
But we'll get there eventually, once I've gone through the entire list.

 Categories :   Hurt Cynical

Joke about stupidity, cynical short

Of course you're not stupid.
You just have bad luck when you think.

 Categories :   Stupidity Cynical Short

Joke about x-ray, photography, cynical short

Some people's x-rays actually look much better than their photographs.

 Categories :   X-Ray Photography Cynical Short

Joke about women, men, shadow, prostitute vulgar

A man's walking home late at night when he sees a woman in the shadows.
"Twenty bucks," she says.
He's never been with a hooker before, but he decides what the hell. They're going at it for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them... it's a police officer.
"What's going on here, people?" asks the officer.
"I'm making love to my wife," the man answers indignantly.
"Oh, I'm sorry," says the cop, "I didn't know."
"Well," said the man, "neither did I until you shined that light in her face."

 Categories :   Women and Men Shadow Prostitute Vulgar

Joke about boys and girls vulgar

boy: spell "me"
girl: M-E
boy: but you forgot the D
girl: there's no D in me
boy: not yet;)

 Categories :   Boys and girls Vulgar

Joke about birds, mouse black

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

 Categories :   Birds Mouse Black

Joke about women and phone

When you're calling a woman, you need to call her twice. First time to give her a chance to find the phone in her handbag, the second time for her to actually answer.

 Categories :   Women Phone

Joke about women and trouble

Help a woman when she's in trouble. She will remember you when she's in trouble again.

 Categories :   Women Trouble

Joke about wallet, onion short

My wallet is like an onion. Opening it makes me cry.

 Categories :   Wallet Onion Short

Joke about secrets

Of course I can keep secrets. But the people I tell them to obviously can't.

 Categories :   Secrets

Joke about slut, vulgar short

What do you call a whore with a runny nose?

 Categories :   Slut Vulgar Short

Joke about lawyer black

What’s the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
There are skid marks in front of the dog.

 Categories :   Lawyer Black

Joke about pinocchio short

How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
His hand caught fire.

 Categories :   Pinocchio Short

Joke about foreplay short

Why don’t women blink during foreplay?
They don’t have time.

 Categories :   Foreplay Short

Joke about chicken

Why do chickens raise one leg when they sleep?
Because if they lifted both, they’d fall over.

 Categories :   Chicken

Joke about cheating, husband, wife and confidence

What is the definition of Confidence?
When your wife catches you in bed with another woman and you slap her on the ass and say, "You’re next!"

 Categories :   Cheating Husband and wife Confidence

Joke about cannibals, trust, blow job vulgar

What’s the definition of “trust”?
Two cannibals giving each other a blowjob.

 Categories :   Cannibals Trust Blow job Vulgar

Joke about light bulb, freud, penis vulgar

How many Freudian analysts does it take to change a light bulb?
Two, one to change the bulb and one to hold the penis, I mean ladder.

 Categories :   Light bulb Freud Penis Vulgar

Joke about women

What do women and prawns have in common?
Their heads are full of shit but the pink bits taste great.

 Categories :   Women

Joke about blonde

What’s the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?
It’s difficult to open the legs of an ironing board.

 Categories :   Blonde

Joke about women, men

What is the difference between men and women?
A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

 Categories :   Women and Men


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