Funnypedia
Encyclopedia of jokes

Main page

Daily jokes

Jokes
A-Z Index
Categories
Best
Random

Quotes
A-Z Index
Categories
Best
Random

Stories
A-Z Index
Categories
Random

Verses
A-Z Index
Categories
Best
Random

Funny pictures
A-Z Index
Categories
Random

Humor
A-Z Index
Categories
Add
Authors
Feedback
Site Map
Funnypedia
Search


Languages
Русский
Українська



  HUMOR ABOUT      

PDA  |  RSS

Jokes


Jokes : 485 

A-Z Index  
  Jokes by category




Joke about teacher


TEACHER: Well, at least there's one thing I can say about your son.
FATHER: What's that?
TEACHER: With grades like these, he couldn't be cheating.


 Categories :   Teacher





Joke about opinion cynical


Do you remember when I asked you to give me your opinion? That's right, me neither.


 Categories :   Opinion Cynical





Joke about yourself and unicorn


Always be yourself. Unless you can also be a unicorn. In that case, always be a unicorn.


 Categories :   Yourself Unicorn





Joke about bar and bra


What is the similarity between a bar and a bra ?
They both drive men crazy when they open.


 Categories :   Bar Bra





Joke about bra


I‘ve been trying to open the bra of my girlfriend for 20 minutes now...
I wish I had never put it on.


 Categories :   Bra





Joke about headache and children


If you have been struck by a headache, follow the instructions on the aspirin bottle:
KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN.


 Categories :   Headache Children





Joke about dentists and question


Dental-Chair Revelation: Once you have your mouth open, dentists lose the ability to ask questions with a simple yes or no answer.


 Categories :   Dentists Question





Joke about little johnny and crocodile


One day, Little Johnny's grandmother sent him to the water hole to get some water for cooking dinner.
As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him.
He dropped the bucket and ran back to grandma's house as fast as he could.
"Where's my bucket and my water?" She asked.
"I can't get any water from that water hole, there's a mean ol' alligator down there!"
"Now don't you mind that ol' alligator, Johnny.
He's been there for years, and he's never hurt no one.
Why, he's probably as scared of you as you are of him!"
"Well, Grandma," replied Johnny, "if he's as scared of me as I am of him, then that water ain't fit to drink!"


 Categories :   Little Johnny Crocodile





Joke about bar and men


Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
A. They're married.


 Categories :   Bar Men





Joke about teacher, chemistry wordplay


Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher? There was no
chemistry.


 Categories :   Teacher Chemistry Wordplay





Joke about husband


I’ve received hundred of responses to my ad seeking a husband, and they all say the exact same thing:
"Take mine, please."


 Categories :   Husband





Joke about lesbian, vampire short


What does one lesbian vampire say to the other?
Same time next month?


 Categories :   Lesbian Vampire Short





Joke about god, men, dildo vulgar


Why did God even create men?
Because He couldn’t figure out how to make a vibrator that would mow the lawn.


 Categories :   God Men Dildo Vulgar





Joke about adam and eve


Why did God make Adam before Eve?
Everyone needs a rough draft before they make the final copy.


 Categories :   Adam Eve





Joke about hurt cynical


The last thing I want to do is to hurt you.
But we'll get there eventually, once I've gone through the entire list.


 Categories :   Hurt Cynical





Joke about stupidity, cynical short


Of course you're not stupid.
You just have bad luck when you think.


 Categories :   Stupidity Cynical Short





Joke about x-ray, photography, cynical short


Some people's x-rays actually look much better than their photographs.


 Categories :   X-Ray Photography Cynical Short





Joke about women, men, shadow, prostitute vulgar


A man's walking home late at night when he sees a woman in the shadows.
"Twenty bucks," she says.
He's never been with a hooker before, but he decides what the hell. They're going at it for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them... it's a police officer.
"What's going on here, people?" asks the officer.
"I'm making love to my wife," the man answers indignantly.
"Oh, I'm sorry," says the cop, "I didn't know."
"Well," said the man, "neither did I until you shined that light in her face."


 Categories :   Women and Men Shadow Prostitute Vulgar





Joke about boys and girls vulgar


boy: spell "me"
girl: M-E
boy: but you forgot the D
girl: there's no D in me
boy: not yet;)


 Categories :   Boys and girls Vulgar





Joke about birds, mouse black


The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.


 Categories :   Birds Mouse Black





Joke about women and phone


When you're calling a woman, you need to call her twice. First time to give her a chance to find the phone in her handbag, the second time for her to actually answer.


 Categories :   Women Phone





Joke about women and trouble


Help a woman when she's in trouble. She will remember you when she's in trouble again.


 Categories :   Women Trouble





Joke about wallet, onion short


My wallet is like an onion. Opening it makes me cry.


 Categories :   Wallet Onion Short





Joke about secrets


Of course I can keep secrets. But the people I tell them to obviously can't.


 Categories :   Secrets





Joke about slut, vulgar short


What do you call a whore with a runny nose?
Full.


 Categories :   Slut Vulgar Short





Joke about lawyer black


What’s the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
There are skid marks in front of the dog.


 Categories :   Lawyer Black





Joke about pinocchio short


How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
His hand caught fire.


 Categories :   Pinocchio Short





Joke about foreplay short


Why don’t women blink during foreplay?
They don’t have time.


 Categories :   Foreplay Short





Joke about chicken


Why do chickens raise one leg when they sleep?
Because if they lifted both, they’d fall over.


 Categories :   Chicken





Joke about cheating, husband, wife and confidence


What is the definition of Confidence?
When your wife catches you in bed with another woman and you slap her on the ass and say, "You’re next!"


 Categories :   Cheating Husband and wife Confidence





Joke about cannibals, trust, blow job vulgar


What’s the definition of “trust”?
Two cannibals giving each other a blowjob.


 Categories :   Cannibals Trust Blow job Vulgar





Joke about light bulb, freud, penis vulgar


How many Freudian analysts does it take to change a light bulb?
Two, one to change the bulb and one to hold the penis, I mean ladder.


 Categories :   Light bulb Freud Penis Vulgar





Joke about women


What do women and prawns have in common?
Their heads are full of shit but the pink bits taste great.


 Categories :   Women





Joke about blonde


What’s the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?
It’s difficult to open the legs of an ironing board.


 Categories :   Blonde





Joke about women, men


What is the difference between men and women?
A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.


 Categories :   Women and Men







TOP CATEGORIES
Jokes

- Vulgar
- Short
- Black
- Blonde
- Husband and wife
- Sex
- School
- Women and Men
- Teacher
- Women
- Wordplay
- Little Johnny
- Lawyer
- Children
- Doctor
- Men
- Penis
- Wife
- Condoms
- Prostitute
- Bar
- Cynical
- Blow job
- Boys and girls
- Exams
- Genies
- Girlfriend
- God
- Vagina
- Bust





Copyright © 2011 - 2024 www.funnypedia.org