Help a woman when she's in trouble. She will remember you when she's in trouble again.
What do women and prawns have in common?
Their heads are full of shit but the pink bits taste great.
Three words women hate to hear when having sex
“Honey, I’m home!”
What is the similarity between a woman and laxative?
They both irritate the shit out of you!
Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
They don’t have balls to scratch.
- Why is women's soccer so rare?
- It's quite hard to find enough women willing to wear the same outfit.
Women are Angels.
And when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly...
On a broomstick.
We're flexible like that.
What's six inches long, two inches wide and drives women wild?
A fifty-dollar bill.
Woman: When you're finished with me, will my husband think I'm beautiful?
Beautician: Maybe.
Does he still drink a lot?
Scientists have finally discovered what is wrong with the female brain:
On the left side, there is nothing right, and on the right side, there is nothing left.
I've never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, come home and expect to be fed and stroked, then want to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.
What is the difference between girls aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58 and 68?
At 8 - You take her to bed and tell her a story.
At 18 - You tell her a story and take her to bed.
At 28 - You don't need to tell her a story to take her to bed.
At 38 - She tells you a story and takes you to bed.
At 48 - You tell her a story to avoid going to bed.
At 58 - You stay in bed to avoid her story.
At 68 - If you take her to bed, that'll be a story!!
How are women and tornadoes alike?
They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave.