Sexual jokes

-Name?
-Abu Dalah Sarafi.
-Sex?
-Four times a week.
-No,

Three words women hate to hear

The three words most hated by men during

Why do women close their eyes during sex?
They can’t

I read married couples do it about 74 times per year. It's end

Why Chocolate Is Better Than Sex:
- You can GET chocolate.
- Chocolate satisfies even when it's gone soft.
- You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.
- You can have chocolate in in public.
- If you bite the nuts, the chocolate won't mind.
- The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate.
-

The young fellow is about to marry and asks his grandfather how often a married couple should have sex.
His grandfather tells him, "When you first get married, you want it all the time, maybe several times a day; later on, maybe once a week. As you get older, you have sex maybe once a month. When

- How do you make your wife scream while

During sex, I suddenly stopped and didn't move. She was like, "What are you

- How can you tell if your wife is dead?
- The

A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex. The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her that it’s still experimental. He tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner, so that night, she does just that. About a week later, she’s back at the doctor, where she says, “Doc, the pill worked great! I put it in the potatoes

Two guys – Jerry and Carl – were discussing the sexy new office secretary. Jerry whispered to Carl: “I dated her last Tuesday and we had amazing sex. I know I shouldn’t say this, but she’s a lot better

A man and woman had been married for 30 years, and in those 30 years, they always left the lights off when having sex. He was embarrassed and scared that he couldn’t please her, so he always used a big dildo on her.

Two men were having a drink together. One said: "I had sex with my wife before we

A man and a woman were having drinks at a business conference when they got into an argument about who enjoyed sex more. The man said, "Men obviously enjoy sex more than women. Why do you think we’re so

Q: Why is air a lot like sex?
A:

I just had an argument with a girl I know. She was saying how that it's unfair that if a guy f:::cks a different girl every week, he's a legend, but if a girl f:::cks just two guys in a year, she's

A boss said to his secretary I want to have SEX with you I will make it very fast. I'll throw $1000 on the floor, by the time you bend down to pick it I'll be done. She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend then said to

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have

One night a man and woman went to his house to have sex when he stopped her to say "I still live with my parents and me and my brother share bunk beds so if you want to change positions say "lettuce" and

There are four kinds of sex :
- House sex - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house in every room.
- Bedroom sex - After you have been married for a while, you only have sex in the bedroom.
- Hall sex

This guy goes into a doctors and says "Doctor, doctor you've gotta help me. I just can't stop having sex!" "Well how often do you have it?" the doctor asks. "Well, twice a day I have sex with my wife, TWICE a day", he answers back. "That's not so much", says the doctor. "Yes, but thats not all. Twice a day I have sex with

At the ripe old age of 77, grandpa had decided to marry a young girl of 20. Grandpa's doctor tried to explain that at his age sex with

A man is driving down the freeway when he sees a sign that says; "Get gas and free sex here". So obviously the guy was interested, so he stopped, filled up went inside to pay. "Pick a number from 1 - 10 to get free sex." said the cashier. "Uh, okay, 3!" the man replied. "Nope! Sorry play again". So

What's the three words you never want to

Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and

At a conference on the supernatural, one of the speakers asked, "Who here has ever seen a ghost?" Most of the hands go up. "And how many of you have had some form of interaction with a ghost?" About half the hands stay up. "OK, now how many of you have had physical contact with a ghost?" Three hands stay up; there's