Men humor

Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
A. They're married.

Why did God even create men?
Because He couldn’t figure out how to make a vibrator that would mow the lawn.

What’s the best way to kill a man?
Put a naked woman and a six-pack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one.

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three – one to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One – he just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him

What do you call the useless piece of skin on the end of a man’s penis?
His body.

Why do men take showers instead of baths?
Pissing in the bath is disgusting.

Men are like guns.
Keep one around long enough and your going to want to shoot it.

How do men sort their laundry?
"Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable".

Whats the difference between married men and parking spaces?
Nothing all the good ones are taken.

Men are like Bluetooth.
When they're close they're connected, when they move further they start looking for new equipment.

Men are like public toilets. They are either engaged or full of shit.

Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Men are like bank accounts.
Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.