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Vulgar jokes

Jokes : 74 
  Letter : V 

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Description: Jokes vulgar off-color and dirty

Joke about husband, wife, prostitute vulgar

A husband and wife are having financial troubles.
They agree she should walk the streets to pick up some extra cash.
The husband drops his wife off in the red light area of town, and returns 6 hours later.
She gets in the car and says, "Look, I made $40.50!"
"What jerk gave you 50 cents?" he asks.
"All of them!"

 Categories :   Husband and wife Prostitute Vulgar

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Joke about santa vulgar

Boy - "dear Santa, for Christmas, I would like a baby brother."
Santa - "Send me your mother."

 Categories :   Santa Vulgar

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Joke about vagina vulgar

A woman is at home when she hears someone knocking at her door.
She goes to the door opens it and sees a man standing there.
He asks the lady, "Do you have a Vagina?"
She slams the door in disgust.
The next morning she hears a knock at the door, its the same man and he asks the same question to the woman, "Do you have a Vagina?"
She slams the door again.
Later that night when her husband gets home she tell him what has happened for the last two days.
The husband tells his wife in a loving and concerned voice, "Honey, I am taking an off tomorrow so as to be home, just in case this guy shows up again."
The next morning they hear a knock at the door and both ran for the door.
The husband whispers to the wife, "Honey, I'm going to hide behind the door and listen and if it is the same guy I want you to answer yes to the
question because I want to a see where he's going with this."
She nods yes to her husband and opens the door.
Sure enough the same fellow is standing there, he asks, "Do you have a Vagina?"
"Yes I do." says the lady.
The man replies, "Good, would you mind telling your husband to leave my wife's alone and start using yours!"

 Categories :   Vagina Vulgar

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Joke about professor, cheating vulgar

A college math professor and his wife are both 60 years old.
One evening the wife comes home and finds a note from her husband.
It says: "My dear, now that you are 60 years old, there are some things you no longer do for me. I am at the Holiday Inn with my 20-year-old student. Don't bother waiting up for me."
He returns home late that night to find a note from his wife: "You, my dear, are also 60 years old and there are also things I need that you're not giving me. So, I am at the Motel 6 with one of your 20-year-old students. Being a math professor, I'm sure you know that 20 goes into 60 way more than 60 goes into 20. So, don't YOU wait up for ME."

 Categories :   Professor Cheating Vulgar

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Joke about red riding hood vulgar

Little Red Riding Hood walks through the forest and sees a wolf hunched under a tree with its ears erect and its mouth stretched in a big grimace.
She says to the wolf, "My, what big ears you have!"
The wolf keeps grimacing.
She says, "My, what big eyes you have!"
The wolf grimaces even wider, baring his teeth.
She says, "My, what big teeth you have!"
The wolf finally snaps and says, "F:::ck off! I'm trying to take a dump."

 Categories :   Red Riding Hood Vulgar

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Joke about morgue, clit, vagina, vulgar black

There were these two guys working late in a morgue, when one guy said, "Hey man there is a woman in there with a shrimp in her vagina!"
The other asked, "What is a shrimp doing a dead woman's vagina? Let me go see."
Both of them went in the room with the woman, and they both curiously looked.
Finally, the second man said, "You idiot, this ain't no shrimp it's a clitoris."
And the other man replied, "Well, it tasted like shrimp to me."

 Categories :   Morgue Clit Vagina Vulgar Black

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Joke vulgar wordplay

"Mommie, Mommie....did you know that nurses can come apart..?"
" What makes you say that..?"
"Because the other night, I overheard Daddy say that he screwed the ass off of a nurse..!"

 Categories :   Vulgar Wordplay

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Joke about egg vulgar

Two eggs boiling in a pan.
One says, "I've got a huge crack."
The other replies, "Stop teasing me, I'm not f:::cking hard yet."

 Categories :   Egg Vulgar

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Joke vulgar and sex

During sex, I suddenly stopped and didn't move. She was like, "What are you doing?" And I was like, "Hush, I saw this on PornHub, it's called Buffering:"

 Categories :   Vulgar Sex

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Joke vulgar black

A guy is late to meet with his friends at the local bar the friends obviously ask why he is late and he responds:
"Wow, you won't believe what just happened. So I take the usual route via the rail tracks and suddenly I see a young, naked woman tied up next to the tracks."
The friends are curious and ask: "Well, what happened next?"
The guy says: "Of course I untied her and we had sex because I freed her."
The friends are cheering and one friend asks: "Soo... did you get any head?"
The guy says: "No, I couldn't find it..."

 Categories :   Vulgar Black

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Joke about love, vulgar short

- What is the difference between like and love?
- Spit and swallow."

 Categories :   Love Vulgar Short

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Joke about husband, wife, group sex vulgar

Robinson came home in great excitement and said to his wife, "You'll never believe it, dear, but I've discovered an entirely new position for lovemaking."
"Really," said Mrs. Robinson, interested at once. "What is it?"
"Back to back."
"But that's crazy. We can't do anything back to back."
"Yes we can. I've persuaded another couple to help out."

 Categories :   Husband and wife Group sex Vulgar

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Joke about husband, wife, desert island, cheating vulgar

A man, his wife and a good-looking stranger are stranded on a desert island.
The wife quickly loses interest in her husband and begins flirting with the good-looking stranger.
The three start to build a watchtower.
The stranger offers to take first watch.
While the husband and wife gather driftwood on the sand, the stranger yells, "Hey! No sex on the beach! Get back to work!"
The husband yells back, "We're not having sex!"
Later, the stranger yells out to them again.
Again, the husband yells back and corrects him.
This happens several times during the stranger's shift.
Finally, the husband's takes his shift in the watch tower.
His wife and the good-looking stranger make passionate love on the beach.
The husband on watch exclaims, "Wow, it really does look like fu:::king from up here!"

 Categories :   Husband and wife Desert Island Cheating Vulgar

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Joke about jewish, porn vulgar

Why do Jews watch porn backwards?
Because their favorite part is when the hooker gives the money back.

 Categories :   Jewish Porn Vulgar

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