Humor

The three words most hated by men during sex?
"Are you In?" or "Is It In?"

Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.
Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony?
She is the one who can eat the last donut!

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

What’s the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.

What’s the difference between love, true love
and showing off?
Spitting, swallowing and gargling

What’s the similarity between getting a blow job from an eighty year-old and walking the tightrope?
In both cases you really don’t want to look down…

What’s the difference between a lawyer and God?
God doesn’t think he’s a lawyer

What’s the best thing about a blow job?
Five minutes of peace and quiet.

What is the similarity between a woman and laxative?
They both irritate the shit out of you!

Why are electric trains like a mother’s breasts?
They were both designed for the kids, but it’s the fathers who are always playing with them.

Why do men like blowjobs?
It’s the only time they get something into a woman’s head
straight!

Why do women close their eyes during sex?
They can’t stand seeing a man have a good time.

What is the definition of making love?
Something a woman does while a guy is humping her

Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
They don’t have balls to scratch.

How do we know God is a man?
Because if God were a woman, sperm would taste like chocolate!

Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?
When you take it off you wonder where her tits went.

Why does the bride always wear white?
Because it is good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator.

How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry it!

What’s the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A mosquito stops sucking when you smack it.

I'm very sorry to interrupt you, but you must have mistaken me for somebody who's interested.