Humor

Looking at the size of these chicken fingers, that chicken must have been around 8 or 11 feet tall.

It is what's inside that matters - the fridge is a perfect example.

I read married couples do it about 74 times per year. It's end of November now. Seems I'm going to have a seriously exciting December!

They say money doesn't grow on trees, but why do banks have branches then?

Funny offence: With a face like yours, you have a good chance in a lawsuit against your parents.

Yeah, roll your eyes all you like, it won't help you. You won't find any brains back there.

Before my first cup of coffee I hate everybody. That doesn't change after I've had that coffee, but it feels much better.

I'm not lazy. I'm just highly motivated to do nothing.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
A face like yours
Belongs in the Zoo.

There is no lousy weather, only lousy choice of clothing.

Of all the dogs, a Hot Dog is the most noble; it feeds the hand that bites it.

A true optimist is the guy who falls off a skyscraper and after 50 floors thinks to himself - well, so far so good!

A truth of life: Only ever trust your own butt to always stand behind you!

Too long speeches lead to no actions.

If love is blind, then marriage is its spectacles.