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Humor


Jokes : 540 

A-Z Index  
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Joke about husband, wife


Husband (watching a video):
Don't do it! I swear you gonna regret it for the rest of your life. You stupid idiot! Don't say yes. No! No! NOOO!! Aw dang, he actually did it! What a dumb ass!
Wife: Honey, why you so mad? What'aya watching?
Husband: Our wedding ceremony.


 Categories :   Husband and wife





Joke about knife and dating


When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think its cute. I just think it's crazy how many people bring knives on a date.


 Categories :   Knife Dating





Joke about toilet


I was in in the public restroom
I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice in the other stall:
"Hi, how are you?"
Me: (embarrassed) "Doin' fine!"
Stall: "So what are you up to?"
Me: "Uhhh, I'm like you, just sitting here."
Stall: "Can I come over?"
Me: (attitude) "No, I'm a little busy right now!!"
Stall: "Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!


 Categories :   Toilet





Joke about crime


Cop: "Did you kill this man?"
Me: "No, a bullet killed him. Bullets are made of lead, which comes from the ground. The ground is part of nature. He died of natural causes. Case closed."


 Categories :   Crime





Joke about baby


Dad: Say daddy!
Baby: Mommy!
Dad: Come on, say daddy!
Baby: Mommy!
Dad: F:::ck you, say daddy!
Baby: F:::ck you, Mommy!
Mom: Honey, I'm home!
Baby: F:::ck you!
Mom: Who taught you that?
Baby: Daddy!
Dad: Son of a b:::tch.


 Categories :   Baby





Joke about mermaid black


Funny picture  about mermaid black
Last kiss


 Categories :   Mermaid Black





Joke about taxi and drunk


3 drunk guys entered a taxi. The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine & turned it off again. Then said, "We have reached your destination". The 1st guy gave him money & the 2nd guy said "Thank you". The 3rd guy slapped the driver. The driver was shocked thinking the 3rd drunk knew what he did. But then he asked "What was that for?". The 3rd guy replied, "Control your speed next time, you nearly killed us!"


 Categories :   Taxi Drunk





Joke about blonde


- What do you call a blonde in an institute of higher learning?
- A visitor.


 Categories :   Blonde





Joke black short


One step forward, 12 floors down.


 Categories :   Black Short





Joke about bear


Why do bears have fur coats?
(Because they look silly wearing jackets!)


 Categories :   Bear





Joke about monkey


Funny picture  about monkey


 Categories :   Monkey





Joke about horse and dog


Funny picture  about horse and dog


 Categories :   Horse Dog





Joke about husband, wife, prostitute vulgar


A husband and wife are having financial troubles.
They agree she should walk the streets to pick up some extra cash.
The husband drops his wife off in the red light area of town, and returns 6 hours later.
She gets in the car and says, "Look, I made $40.50!"
"What jerk gave you 50 cents?" he asks.
"All of them!"


 Categories :   Husband and wife Prostitute Vulgar





Joke about lawyer


A lawyer buys a farm as a weekend retreat.
While walking round his new property he looks down and sees that his feet are in the middle of a huge cowpat.
The lawyer starts yelling, 'Oh my God!
Help me, help me!'
His wife runs up and asks what's the matter.
The lawyer points to his feet and screams, 'I'm melting!
I'm melting...!'


 Categories :   Lawyer





Joke about snake


Funny picture  about snake


 Categories :   Snake





Joke about car


Funny picture  about car


 Categories :   Car





Joke about beer


How many men does it take to open a beer?
None.
It should be opened by the time she brings it.


 Categories :   Beer





Joke about tax


I hate paying my income tax.
You should be a good citizen - why don't you pay with a smile?
I'd like to but they insist on money.


 Categories :   Tax





Joke about superman


- What is difference between man and Superman?
- Man wears underwear under the trouser and superman wears it over the trouser.


 Categories :   Superman





Joke about toilet


Funny picture  about toilet
Jeweler's toilet


 Categories :   Toilet







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